MMM and Everyday in May: 10 Monsters that Make Me Happy

Today's Every Day in May prompt is: "Ten things that make you really happy." So, I'm combining that with MMM again (Day 4) to come up with ten monsters that make me happy. I suppose monsters should not make me happy. Real life monsters (as in monstrous people) don't make me happy. But there are a few TV and movie monsters that make me very happy. And here they are:

1. Mitchell, the vampire from the series Being Human (BBC version, of course). Mitchell made me very happy, but he was definitely a monster. I suppose the reason he made me so happy is because he was dark and brooding, and incredibly HOT!

2. Jabba the Hutt, from Return Of The Jedi. Ah, yes. Good ol' Jabba is the disgusting creature that bears a striking resemblance to a ginormous pile of talking poo. That's all I need to say about him. His wet gurgling fart sounds say it all. If that doesn't put a smile on your face, I don't know what can.

3. The Gorn, from the Star Trek episode "Arena." I don't know of any Trekkie who is not incredibly happy to see the Gorn. That is because they are either watching the hilariously hokey "Arena" episode, or because some sort of funny reference is being made to it by a comedian. The Gorn is a classic.

4. The Graboids, from the movie Tremors. This is one of my favorite movies of all time. Not only does it have Kevin Bacon and Remo Williams (actor Fred Ward), but it's side-splittingly funny too. My brother and I still share quotes from the movie as jabs when we're annoyed with each other. For example (spoken with a deep Southern accent): "Would you ... shuuut uuuuuup?" Or how about (also with a deep accent): "It's OK, he thinks he knows everything."

5. The Weeping Angels, from Doctor Who. The Weeping Angels first appeared in the episode "Blink," and I've been a huge fan ever since. Even though they took away two of my favorite characters on the show, I'm always ecstatic to see them. That is because they are one of the creepiest and coolest characters to ever "grace" the small screen.

6. Stripe, from the movie Gremlins. Who doesn't love those cute little cuddly plush toys that turn into grotesque plastic toys labeled as "Gremlins." They are somehow loveable, even when they are evil. I suppose that is because they enjoy killing people in cute, mischievous ways. The whole movie is so silly, you can't help but laugh at it. It's not so scary as it is really funny, with a sarcastically dark sense of humor.

Two of my favorite Twilight Zone characters from the original series also made it to the movie version of Twilight Zone:

7. The first is the gremlin on the plane that terrorized both William Shatner (in the series episode "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet") and John Lithgow (movie). John Lithgow's terror was perhaps a bit more believable, but Shatner's was a little more hilarious. Either way, that thing had an incredibly amusing grotesque face, and resulted in one of the best scenes in TV (and movie) history.

8. The second is the evil little boy who sends his neighbors into the corn field in the episode "It's a Good Life." The movie version had a slightly different interpretation, but was worthy in its own way. My favorite thing about it is that line the kid spoke when he didn't like someone. I still imitate it when I hear a politician I don't like: "You're a bad man! You're a very bad man! I'm sending you to the corn field."

9. The swamp thing, from the movie The Swamp Thing. The swamp thing was actually a scientist named Alec who became a scary monster who didn't know his own strength. Poor guy. All he wants to do is save the woman he loves, but how can they ever be together when he's made of green swampy goo? Despite her apparent willingness to make out sloppily, it just can't go beyond that. Does he even have his old male parts, or painful twigs and branches?

10. Scorpius, from Farscape. What's more fun than watching a talking skeleton man, resembling He-Man's Skeletor, pulling large bloody cylinders from his head so the red hot cooling rod inside can be replaced with a new, cold one? And he's so deliciously evil. You can imagine that the actual fire and brimstone devil exists inside, requiring brain-cooling rods just to contain him.

By the way, I've made up for Day 1 of MMM, but filed it under Saturday, May 11, which is when it was supposed to be posted.

Everyday in May & Monster Madness: I'm Sorry, Monsters!

I'm doing my Monday Every Day post a day early. Also, I have decided to do the one-week May Monster Madness, along with Blog Every Day in May. Today's Every Day prompt is: "Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be." So, I'm opting for funny and issuing an apology to all movie and TV monsters out there:


I'm sorry, movie and TV monsters, for not taking you more seriously. I should have thought of you as terrifying instead of stupid, as grotesquely misshapen figures instead of bad CGI. My enjoyment of your entertainment would have been tenfold. I would have been able to hop right into the action and been a part of it. I really only cheated myself. So, I sincerely apologize to all you TV and movie monsters. I will watch again, and enjoy immensely.

Edit: Although I wrote this a day early, I put the correct publish date, so it appears to have been written on Monday.

MMM Day 2: The Toe Kick Monster

Like many children, I was afraid of monsters. I was not afraid of them under my bed, or in my closet, however. In fact, I loved my closet, and I loved having a bed that was high off the floor where my dog could sleep and lick my hand when I reached down to pet her. No, I was afraid of the impossible monster. I was afraid of the unknown monster that nobody else could ever think of.

I was afraid of the Toe Kick Monster. A toe kick is the little area underneath a floor cabinet where your toes go. I always feared the idea that some sort of monster could shrink itself so tiny, that it could hide invisibly in the toe kick area. If you look for it before standing in front of the cabinet, you can't see it. It only appears when you actually go up to the cabinet and stand there. It is when you're not looking that the Toe Kick Monster grows a hand that will suddenly pop out and grab your ankle, pulling you into an unknown dimension where nobody will ever find you.

I would much prefer a Cupcake Monster hand
over a Toe Kick Monster hand. Then I could eat it!
From Flickr user Kristin Ausk

I was rational enough that I knew this would never happen. And I never feared the Toe Kick Monster during the day. It was only at night, when I had to brush my teeth before bed, that I feared the Toe Kick Monster hand that would grab my ankle while brushing my teeth.

But I was rational enough to brush my teeth anyway. I would brush my teeth while shaking, slightly whimpering, growing little goose bumps, and feeling my hair standing on end. I would brush, brush, brush, as quickly as possible. Then, I would run to my room with my heart pounding and sinking to my stomach, and jump into bed and climb under the covers. My dog would whimper a little too, worried that there was something wrong with me. I would reach my hand under my bed to console her, and myself. Then we would both settle in for a good night sleep, protected from the Toe Kick Monster until the next evening.

Everyday in May: Everything as it Should Be

Today's prompt: "What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)."

I used to miss being 28. But I began to realize more and more that everything is as it should be in this moment. I am happy now, enjoying Sunday chocolate nut coffee with my mother for Mother's Day. Things are moving ahead. I look forward to the future, and it is all bright. No matter what troubles may lie in my path, it will all turn out the way it should be. I love my life!

Everyday in May: Me, in 10 Words

First of all, I'm getting caught up with comments (mostly non-blitz comments) tonight and part of tomorrow!

OK, so today's prompt is: "Sell yourself in 10 words or less."

This is a weird one, but I did come up with something really quickly. I didn't have a whole lot of time though, but maybe that's best. Here goes:

I'm honorable; you can count on me, with humor, spontaneity

10 words exactly. You have to assume a couple of words there at the end to bring it together though. I suppose I could have simply written a series of words that describe me, but I thought the sentence format would be a little more interesting and challenging :)

MMM Day 1: I was a Monster

So I'm making up for days 1 and 2 of MMM after the fact, but setting the publish dates on the days they were supposed to have been written. One of the reasons I wanted to do MMM was because I was a monster for a short while. I'm not being symbolic about the type of person I used to be here. Rather, I'm talking about a physical injury that occurred when I was little.

I had a bed that was three feet off the hardwood floor. In fact, I still have the same bed, and I still sleep in it every night. I'm just better at staying put while I sleep, which I have been ever since the accident. Yes, I fell off the bed when I was little. Not only that, I fell face first into a toy stroller with metal parts which someone had given me as a present before landing on the hardwood floor.

I vaguely remember being shocked out of sleep. I was only 5 years old, so most of my memory of the incident is hazy. The way I remember it, I was still half asleep after it happened, not knowing which way was up. My mother says I woke up fully, and was crying nonstop.

Me, around the time of the accident.
Was I actually a creepy little monster child?
MUAHAHAHAHA!!

The only thing I remember for sure was going into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. I remember being hazy, and stifling a slight scream when I thought I saw a monster in the bathroom. A split second later, I realized that I was looking at my own face in the mirror. I looked like some sort of horror movie monster-child.

I had little streams of blood coming down from the top of my face to the bottom, and my entire face was black and blue. I looked so horrible, in fact, that my mother wouldn't allow me to go back to school for two weeks, despite the fact that I really wanted to go because I was falling behind. She was terrified that they would take me away from her. That had happened to my parents' neighbors, who had a clumsy son who was constantly falling off his bike.

So, my mom was probably right. I did look like someone had beaten the crap out of me. I don't know that anyone would have believed it was a freak accident. Plus, I was always sort of a nerdy weird kid who would rather enjoy conversations and Gin Rummy (my favorite game at the time) with my dad and his buddies than talk about silly stuff I didn't care about with kids my age. The other kids probably thought I was a weird little monster too.

Everyday in May: Most Embarrassing Moment!

First of all, I'm VERY UPSET with the Blogger App for iPhone!! I wrote the entire post from my little phone, and it deleted half of it AFTER I SAVED IT!! OK, rant over...

Today's prompt is: "Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill." My mind went blank. I honestly couldn't think of what would qualify as my most embarrassing moment. So I dug a little deeper in my memory, and remembered a moment when I was most mortified: when I forgot my lines and froze onstage while doing Children's Theater in high school.

I'm afraid of public speaking to begin with, but always felt it necessary to torture myself by taking drama class all four years of high school. I love acting, just not doing it in front of strangers, which is sorta the point. I used to confuse my drama teacher because I was horrible with improv exercises, but would always pull out a great performance when it really mattered, especially in front of a paying audience.

So, during one performance in front of grade schoolers, I accidentally skipped ahead at a tricky part in the script, then forgot the next line. That's not good for someone who is terrified of being on stage, and can't think when on the spot. Of course, I froze. After several painful moments, one of my fellow actors had to save me. My teacher was highly disappointed, to say the least. She even made several jokes at my expense, and everyone gave me the evil eye. Luckily, I was able to burn that part of the script in my brain so I didn't make the mistake again.

That's not as long as the original story, but I can't bring myself to do it all over again.