Thursday, May 30, 2013
Everyday in May: I Have Trouble Letting Go
The first thing I think of when I hear the term "letting go" is that I can't. This is exactly what I have trouble with, and is one of the personality flaws I wrote about earlier. I tend to obsess when I make mistakes, and I have trouble letting go of them. My mother still has to remind me of this. She is always reminding me to "let go" of it. So, I continue to work on that. I'm actually better at it than I used to be, but I still find myself obsessing when I'm under stress.
There's also another way to take the term though: letting go of a loved one who dies or wants to leave. That's a really tough one, but sometimes there's just no choice, especially when someone dies. In the other case though, when someone wants to leave and you don't want them to go, I have found that it is best to turn off your brain as much as possible and let it happen.
You may cry for days and days, but it is always the best decision in the long run. The longer you hold on, the longer you suffer. If they want to leave you, then they aren't suffering. You are the only one in great pain. It just doesn't serve anyone to make that pain go on longer than it has to. In the end, you may find you're better off anyway.
When my first boyfriend moved away, I cried myself to sleep for about three months. Then one day I woke up and wondered why I had been so upset. I suddenly realized all the bad things in our relationship, and how much he had stifled my creativity. I was suddenly happy to be free!