Monday, February 17, 2014

'Elementary' GifTweetCap: An Abundance of Asshattery

All of the following gifs are available on this Tumblr post. "Corpse de Ballet" is a somewhat gruesome "Elementary" episode, but that is not such a big surprise for this show. What was a very nice surprise was the fact that we got to delve a little deeper into Watson's (Lucy Liu) past. The episode is also filled with asshats, to an almost amusing degree.

The episode begins with a coitus sign on Sherlock's (Jonny Lee Miller) door. Watson offers Sherlock's latest conquest some coffee before she takes off. Sherlock then claims that sleeping with women from all walks of life -- such as the pastor who just left -- is a form of research.
Later, we see a few snooty ballerinas dancing around, until they hear a loud noise. Nell, one of their fellow dancers, has been cut in half!
The perp took the security footage of the crime, and there is very little blood. Her throat was slit first, with a box-cutter. Ballerinas use the box-cutters on their shoes, and the one used to kill Nell belonged to Iris (Aleksa Palladino), the bitchiest ballerina in the troupe.
Sherlock is quite smitten with Iris, despite her diva behavior -- Watson goes so far as to call him a ballerina fanboy. Gregson (Aidan Quinn) and Bell (Jon Michael Hill) don't care what Sherlock thinks of Iris, however. When she steps out of line with them, and even threatens them, they arrest her.
Her lawyer gets her out on bail quickly, and her first stop is... Sherlock's place!
Sherlock explains that he slept with Iris in order to learn about her arm, and whether she was capable of committing the crime. He believes she is not, because of an injury to her arm.
Sherlock and Watson learn that paparazzo Jake Picardo (Bill Sage) was stalking Iris until she broke his camera. Nolan (Scott Cohen), Iris' lawyer, accused him of using drugs, and he lost his job. He then decides it's a great idea to prove that he's great at basically stalking women by secretly recording Watson. Watson seriously considers violence.
Later, with his lawyer present, the pervy paparazzo hands them proof that he was much too busy being a perv to have committed the murder. He was actually installing hidden cameras at Nell's apartment so he could catch Nell and Iris in bed together.
It turns out that Nell and Iris were having an affair, but Iris only did it to manipulate Nell into giving her the lead role. When Nell realized that fact, she broke it off. The only problem was that Iris had actually fallen for her fellow ballerina, so she left her a voicemail telling her how unhappy she was about the split.
The voicemail is leaked to the media, and Sherlock looks into the ambient sound on the recording, which leads back to Nolan. He has a unique door opener, which reveals that he had secretly recorded the voicemail from his office.
Nell had retained Nolan as her own lawyer, and he quickly learned that Nell and Iris had been together. In his disturbingly sick mind, he realized that he could create a media sensation by setting Iris up for Nell's murder. A warrant turns up the stolen surveillance video, which shows a masked man of the same height and build as Nolan. He had saved it in order to get Iris off the hook after serving as her lawyer on the case through a long celebrity trial.
The subplot involves Morris (Curtis L. McClarin), a homeless guy who is off his meds. He seems to think that his homeless buddy "Frebo" (as in, Zeke Frebo) has been kidnapped, but the meanie cops won't listen. They just think he's nuts, but Watson sympathizes.
We then learn that Watson is invested in helping the homeless because her birth father is homeless. She began volunteering so she could see him, but he refused to get help or take medication. She hasn't seen him for about two years.
Watson visits Frebo's sister (Jennifer Laura Thompson), who seems very distressed about her missing brother. But when Watson visits with Morris after he has taken his medication and is now lucid, he says that Frebo was forced into a van. Worse yet, a photo he has of Frebo with his family reveals that the woman Watson met with is not Frebo's sister.
Watson returns to the "sister's" home, this time with cops in tow. Frebo's fake sister and her husband (Dan Cooney) seem very upset that they have to stop stealing veteran's benefits... and set the homeless veterans free from their dungeon... and go to prison. Such is life when you decide to be a horrible, sick, disgusting excuse for a human being.

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