Thursday, February 19, 2015

'Elementary' 3x13, 3x14 'Hemlock,' 'The Female of the Species' Gif-Tweet-Cap Twofer!

It's time for a two-part Elementary gif-tweet-pod-cap! It wasn't really a two-part episode, other than the continuation from the very end of the subplot of the first to the semi-conclusion of that subplot in the second, but hey... I just didn't have time last week. Now, I usually do five total animated gifs per recap, even when it's a two-parter, but there were so many gif-able moments that I did five each. Enjoy! The following gifs are also available on this Tumblr post.

In "Hemlock," we are immediately presented with a bored Sherlock. He's so bored, in fact, that he begins discussing old unsolved mysteries with not one, but two, women in bed. The podcast (which I co-host) for this episode is below. You can also subscribe to it on iTunes.

He finally finds something to do when a woman comes to him asking for his "P.I." services to find out whether Steven, her husband, is cheating. Lucky for Sherlock, Steven has also been missing for two days. Finally, a break from the boredom of the void from missing Kitty.
In searching for Steven, Sherlock and Joan find that he lost his job months ago, but has a secretary answering his phone at his old job. The secretary is one of my favorite characters of the episode because of her hilarious facial expressions. For example, in the following scene she gets puke-faced over being caught:

And in this scene, she becomes truly disgusted when Sherlock gives back a letter stained with Salvadoran Horchata (actually, Joan's narrow-eyed stare is pretty funny as well):
The Horchata leads them to Steven's new place of business: a debt collection service. That means he harassed people into paying their debts for a living. They also find evidence that he has been murdered, which means any of the thousands of people he harassed could be a murderer.
It turns out that he had decided to change his ways and forgive the debt, but was murdered before he could do so. This means that one of his employees at his new business was more likely to have killed him in order to make bank on the huge pile of debt they could collect.

Meanwhile, Andrew wants Joan to meet his papa, and she is not looking forward to it. Sherlock believes that Joan is making a mistake by staying in a traditional relationship, knowing she's much too quirky for that. Andrew's dad is very kind, but Joan comes off as nervous. After Joan finishes her lunch with Andrew and his dad, she decides that Sherlock is deserving of a good punch in retaliation for being so darned right all the time.
Then she wonders why in the hell Sherlock is forcing poor Clyde to paint. Turns out, Clyde enjoys art, and his paintings could probably fetch millions.
The employees have alibis, but there's another clue: Steven had initially focused on Owen, a debtor that lived farther away and owed less money than some of the others. One company had bought all the land within a five mile radius of Owen's home, and pushed for him to sell so they could develop the area. That company was represented by the company where Steven used to work.

It turns out that Coleman Brown, Steven's best buddy at his old company, could make a ton of cash if Owen sold his home, so he was the one who pushed Steven to buy the debt and go after Owen. When Steven decided to forgive the debt instead, they fought, and Coleman ended up killing him.
At the very end, we see that Joan is getting coffee with Andrew so she can break up with him. He accidentally takes a sip of her drink right before Joan does the deed and breaks it off... and then he begins choking to death from poison.
In "The Female of the Species," we can see that Andrew has died by the far-off look on Joan's face. The case has already been solved, and the culprit has been identified. It's the oh-so-bitch-faced Elana March, who is delighted that she ordered the murder of Joan's boyfriend just after she had broken up with him. It would be so nice if the evil Elana could spontaneously combust at that moment, but no luck: she's already in prison, so she gets to continue tormenting and attempting to kill Joan. The podcast for this episode is included below:

While Joan mopes, Sherlock enlists Bell to help with a new case concerning two pregnant zebras stolen from a zoo. They find that a purple truck was stolen and used to steal the zebras, and Sherlock somehow deduces that the truck contained a GPS collar that they track to a dump site which contains a receipt that then leads them to a horse veterinarian.
They finally find the zebras there, as well as the body of David Chang, a veterinarian who was forced to help the thief deliver the foals. Sherlock then finds a new clue leading to a feed store.
Meanwhile, Sherlock has been helping Joan mope by bringing her all of her meals. When Andrew's dad basically tells her that he doesn't hold her responsible... but holds her responsible for his son's death, she feels even more terrible. She gets some of her mojo back, however, when she pulls a reverse rude awakening. When Sherlock falls asleep at Joan's, Joan has the great pleasure of waking Sherlock.
She also helps the case along a bit when she hears one tiny clue: someone at the feed store said the thief had mentioned that he had been in a hailstorm. Joan knows of a place that matches that description, and Sherlock and Bell find one of the foals there. The catch is that the foal is of an extinct quagga rather than a zebra. The great care required in raising an extinct animal into existence means that the thief and murderer has to be an employee at the zoo.

Sherlock tricks the murderer into making himself known by focusing on someone who is definitely not the murderer, then watching to see who seems to have a great burden lifted. Unfortunately, the murderer escapes from his apartment while the cops are staking out the place. Sherlock kills two birds with one stone by doing his daily lunges/weird ballet, while at the same time demonstrating to Bell that there are creaks in the floorboards. The bad guy escaped through a hidden tunnel!
Since we didn't have a rude awakening in the last episode, they double up on them in this episode. Sherlock wakes Bell with a bell.
The rude awakening of Marcus Bell is for an invitation to breakfast and a movie. The movie is a comedy about the arrest of the douchebag who stole the zebras and killed the veterinarian. Sherlock tricked the dumb criminal by pretending to be a buyer for the second foal, then set up a sting operation, all while Marcus was sleeping.
At the end, Joan receives a letter detailing that Elana March had gotten in the way of her fun. The distinctive voice of Moriarty reads the letter, and we soon see that Elana has been properly offed in her cell. Good riddance! And hellllo Ms Creepy Moriarty. Oh, and now Joan wants to move back into the Brownstone.


  1. Where do I subscribe? I'd read whether you quoted me or not. That was so well done and so freakingly funny!!!!!

  2. I'm not sure what this is all about but it sure was some in depth coverage. I don't watch much TV.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Tossing It Out